Friends helping to write a letter in German

This afternoon I was working on an official letter I need to write for my company. Writing it in English was no trouble. But then I had to translate it to German (as I’m working for a German company)… Ouch.
 
Well ok, I asked a firend&colleague to review it. My stuff was so bad that he rewrote most of it, immediately, or more exactly reworded it. But himself wasn’t happy about the result so suggested me to contact a common friend or/and my familly for a second review. Which I did. Soon after I got two answers both wanting to contact yet other people, but those native-speaker, for advice.
 
Duh, this letter will make three time the turn of the world soon :p Find the break and stop the train, pleaaaase!
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